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Image by Glenn Carstens Peters


so much rain, so much so that
the cataclysmic whorl of the sunflower,
the trill of the tanager, is forgotten.

this month of darkness cannot be forgiven,
even if brought to its knees
by that man-child, that brother, that friend.

the grief won’t budge, won’t let him emerge
from that gossamer wind
that carries him as he flies, his wings afloat.

on days when the sun won’t come out,
the cloud-whisperers keep secrets on his pillow –
simple missives to a reluctant poster boy,

whose spirit’s essence lingers in those dark eyes of longing –
a longing to fix that broken mirror,
when it no longer says what he wants to hear.

what scream lurks in the throat of the trenches
when the body is at war with itself, when the laughter
stops in its tracks, when the bells peal no more.

this short lifespan of a million joys, desires doesn’t last.
when can he finally stop craving what he won’t get?

because it is different now. the spout won’t turn off.
the river runs amuck across the pages of the atlas –
and he, a lone traveler, can’t find a place to fit in.
a place to call his own.

Dedicated to fragile souls everywhere, unique in their bravery and beauty, who sadly find only one way to escape cruel realities.

Anu Mahadev is a left-brained engineer who morphed into a right-brained poet. She is a 2016 MFA graduate of Drew University, and her work has appeared in several journals and anthologies. She serves as Editor for Jaggery Lit, the Woman Inc. and poetry editor for The Wild Word magazine. Her collection of poetry titled “A Mouthful of Sky” is upcoming from Get Fresh Books LLC. She can be found on Facebook at


  1. Anonymous

    Well written

    • Anonymous

      Thank you!

  2. Megha

    The vulnerability in this poem speaks to me
    It’s an elegy to so called misfit in the society.
    Loved it.

    • Anu Mahadev

      Thank you so much Megha!


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