ARTIST-IN-RESIDENCE

★ ★ ★ ★

DEE MULROONEY

‘Imagine If…’

Séimí had a zest for life and a magical imagination.

‘Mam, imagine if mammoths came alive again, what would you do? Like, imagine if they just came barging into the kitchen right now…’

Mam mostly tried to answer.

‘Ehhh, I’d run really fast.’

‘Mam, imagine if parents had a microchip inserted into their kids brains, so they could control them.’

‘Oh, that sounds like it would be awful, son.’

‘Mam, imagine if you were a superhero, which one would you be?’

‘Ehhhh, I’d be Wonderwoman?’

‘No Mam, she’s so normal, pick from this list, Black widow, Batgirl, Mystique.’

‘Ehhhh, Batgirl!’

‘No Mam, she’s not half as good as Mystique, pick her instead.’

‘OK, I’d be Mystique.’

Sometimes Mam wasn’t listening properly so she switched on her automatic answer button. This didn’t always work!

‘Mam, imagine if you had a gazillion euros, what would you spend it on?’

‘Oh really, that’s great, son.’

Then Séimí would get annoyed and say ‘What? You didn’t answer my question, you’re not even listening.’

Sometimes Mam tried to hide in the loo. Usually after a few minutes an ‘Imagine if’ question came floating up the stairs.

‘Are you in the loo Mam?’

‘Yes son’

‘Ok, imagine if pigeons were secret police spying on us, what would you do?’

Sometimes, Mam just had no space left in her head to understand words anymore, especially around six in the evening when she was making the dinner, emptying the washing machine, correcting essays, the boys were wild, Grandad called by for a random chat about what he was making for dinner, the phone was ringing, the dog escaped and her tummy was rumbling!

‘Mam, imagine if there was a multi-universe, do you think there would be copies of us?’

At these times Mam would stare back blankly with a slight twitch in her eye while Séimí waited for an answer.

‘Mam, you’re not listening again, you never listen to me, answer my question, NOW!’

Sometimes Mam would explode and shout at Séimí and say things she didn’t mean.

‘Séimí, DON’T you dare raise your voice to me, NOW listen here Mister, the world doesn’t revolve around you and your questions, now just STOP it, I CAN’T listen to another word, you are wrecking my head.’

Then Séimí would wander off with his shoulders hunched, his head low and his feelings hurt.

After a few minutes Mam always felt bad.

‘Séimí sweetheart, imagine if Mammy was so, so sorry and that she loved you and your crazy, magical questions more than anything in the whole multiverse?’

‘Mam, imagine if I was never born.’

Mam always had the best answers

‘No son, I could never imagine that.’

The End