ARTIST-IN-RESIDENCE

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DEE MULROONEY

‘MAGGIE’S DOLL’

Maggie was worried. She didn’t know why but she had always felt that way.

She was seven years old, she had a Mammy, a house and sometimes they had enough food.

She loved school and she was a good girl.

One day a big surprise happened. Uncle Billy who lived in London came to visit with his friend Séan.

Uncle Billy was Maggie’s favourite person. He was very handsome and always wore beautiful suits with a pink handkerchief in the breast pocket.

He had kind brown eyes and the warmest smile.

The best thing about Uncle Billy was that he loved spending time with Maggie. She would sit for hours listening to his stories of adventures in London.

Uncle Billy always brought Maggie presents, only she didn’t really care about them as they would always disappear when he left.

As Uncle Billy and Seán opened the little iron garden gate to Maggie’s house, Mrs. Long, Maggie’s mother groaned and blessed herself. ‘Oh Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph, here comes that “moff” and his friend.’ She was never pleased to see him.

Maggie didn’t understand why as Billy always brought cakes, tea and presents for everyone.

Mrs. Long talked about being mortified whenever Uncle Billy came.

Maggie didn’t know what mortified meant or what a “moff” was. She asked her older sister Betty but she told Maggie to be quiet and not to be so nosey. Maggie didn’t care what anyone thought, she loved Uncle Billy and that was that.

She ran to the door to meet him and Séan. On seeing her, Billy picked her up and swung her around high in the air.

Now, Maggie had a daddy but she only saw him once. He wore a long black coat with tails and a tall black hat. He drove a horse and carriage with four big black horses. They had huge feather plumes attached to their heads—even the feathers were black.

Mrs. Long said that he was an undertaker. Maggie was afraid of him. Mrs. Long wasn’t. Once she told him that “over her dead body” would he ever take Maggie. Maggie felt safe behind Mrs. Long’s apron.

Uncle Billy and Séan took Maggie by the hand and went into the house. Mrs. Long greeted them and forced a smile. Uncle Billy gave her a big straw basket full of fancy foods, things that Maggie only saw when he came to visit.

There was marmalade, tea from India, satin pillow sweets, shortcake biscuits. There were even oranges! Maggie only ever had oranges when Santa came.

Then came Maggie’s present. Billy handed her a big beautiful box with lots of flowers printed on it. It was tied closed with a huge red satin bow.

Maggie looked at Mrs. Long and she looked back with a softness in her eyes that Maggie rarely saw.

‘Go on sweetheart, open it,’ she said.

The box was so beautiful and the bow so perfect that Maggie almost didn’t want to open it. Very slowly she pulled on the bow, her heart racing with excitement.

She lifted the lid and inside she saw the most beautiful doll. She had long black curly hair, green eyes and she was wearing a bright red coat. She had a rosebud mouth and a soft pale round face.

Maggie fell in love with her immediately. As she picked her up from her box Mrs. Long said, ‘you’ll have to give her a name’. The softness was still in her eyes.

Maggie knew as soon as she laid eyes on her what her name was.

‘I’m going to call her Lizzy,’ she said. This was Maggie’s favourite name.

Uncle Billy and Séan stayed until it got dark, Maggie heard lots of stories and ate so much shortcake that she had pains in her belly.

She was so happy that she forgot about being worried until the moment came to say goodbye, and then she felt a sinking feeling go right from her belly to her toes. Her heart started to race and she couldn’t move her feet. Saying goodbye this time to Uncle Billy was the hardest. She held on tight to his neck. He smelled like flowers and had the softest skin. He told Maggie not to worry that Lizzy would take care of her, that she was Maggie’s special doll.

Uncle Billy left and Maggie thought her heart would break, she wished she could go with him and Seán. Maggie wished that she would always have enough food, that there would be coal for the fire, that Mrs. Long would keep the soft look in her eye. More than anything though, she wished that she could keep Lizzy.

Maggie went to bed and said her prayers before falling asleep. She prayed with all her heart that when she woke up in the morning, Lizzy would still be where she left her in her flower box beside her bed.

That night Maggie dreamed sweet dreams. She dreamt that she could fly and that she was floating amongst the clouds.

She saw Lizzy in her dream but she was no longer a doll, instead she was a beautiful young woman. Her red coat had become a red cloak.

She had a look in her eyes that Maggie recognised, something old but familiar awoke in Maggie’s heart—she felt such love for this woman. She ran to her and Lizzy wrapped her in her cloak and hugged her.

She whispered something in Maggie’s ear, she stroked her hair and cupped Maggie’s small face in her gentle hands. She looked deeply with her bright green eyes into Maggie’s eyes and told her that she was never alone.

Lizzy told her that she knew her before she was born, she knew her in the warm safe darkness of memory. Maggie didn’t really understand the words that Lizzy was saying but she understood the love she felt for this woman through every part of her body.

She could feel and hear things she couldn’t while she was awake. She could hear the steady thump of her own heart and Lizzy’s heart, she could hear and feel the blood rushing through her veins and Lizzy’s. She felt her heart melt into Lizzy’s, she felt their blood mix until they became one. Maggie no longer felt her body, she was free, she was floating, she was swimming in love.

Then she heard the words:

‘I know you, I am always with you, I belong to you.’

Maggie woke up early the next day. Her normally colourless room seemed brighter than usual and she had a warm, light feeling in her tummy.

Slowly, the memory of her dream came back to her. Then she thought of Lizzy.

She decided not to look beside her bed just yet, instead she closed her eyes and saw Lizzy clearly in her mind.

‘I know you, I am always with you, I belong to you,’ Maggie repeated these words to herself a few times.

Then it was time to take a look. With one eye closed and the other squinting, Maggie peeked beside her bed.

There was Lizzy, lying in her box exactly where Maggie left her. She picked her up and tucked her tightly into bed beside her.

Maggie heard Mrs. Long’s footsteps coming up the stairs. For a moment she thought about hiding Lizzy but she knew that the doll could be sold to old Mr. Hemptenstall for quite a bit. Mrs. Long needed the money to buy medicine for Maeve, Maggie’s much older sister.

So, Maggie gave Lizzy one last kiss and placed her back in her beautiful box.

The bedroom door opened. Maggie quickly turned over and pretended to be asleep.

She tried to hold her breath so Mrs. Long wouldn’t hear her sobs. She just wanted it to be over, she thought she might die from not breathing and the pain she felt in her heart but she didn’t want Mrs. Long to feel bad, so she held on.

Then she heard something unexpected, she heard Lizzie’s box being opened and a soft rustle followed by a gentle weight on her bed. Mrs. Long left the room.

Maggie let out a long sad cry and gasped to catch her breath.

She turned around to see where Lizzy had been and she couldn’t believe her eyes.

Right next to her in bed was Lizzy, looking right at her with her big green sparkly eyes.

Attached to her red coat with a small brass pin was a piece of ribbon with the words ‘I belong to Maggie’ sewn onto it.

The End